Review: "Fun Size"

Film And DVD Reviews by Phil Boatwright

CREDITS: Victoria Justice, Jackson Nicoll, Chelsea Handler, Jane Levy. Paramount. Comedy. Written by Max Werner. Directed by Josh Schwartz. 10/26/12

NOTE TO TEENS: I wrote this critique with adults in mind. But I don’t believe in “writing down” to teenagers. Unlike many in Hollywood, who often show little regard for your intelligence, I respect your thinking process. Keep in mind, you may not always agree with my assessment of a movie, but by providing you with the synopsis and content (the reason for the ratings) you can decide which new releases are suitable for your viewing. I hope you find my work a helpful tool. Phil Boatwright, the Movie Reporter.

FILM SYNOPSIS: High school senior Wren's Halloween plans go awry when she's made to babysit her 8-year-old brother, who disappears into a sea of trick-or-treaters. Her mom is attending a Halloween party herself (dressed as Brittany Spears in a schoolgirl outfit) with her 26-year-old slacker boyfriend. With her best friend and two nerds at her side, she needs to find her brother before her mom finds out he's missing. Slapstick troubles ensue.

REVIEW: I understand the rating should clue parents that this is aimed at an older audience; still, the marketing and the star and the fact that the film was produced under the hospices of Nickelodeon may mislead the uninformed into believing this is a kid-friendly film. Wrong!

First, it’s too lame for anyone who has stopped watching Nickelodeon and far too suggestive for those who tune in daily to Sponge Bob.

Did I say suggestive? That doesn’t cover it, for this is the crudest teen comedy I’ve seen since, well, since the last teen comedy. Now, the next six paragraphs will explain why I feel “smutty” best describes Fun Size. Here’s just some of the coarse comedy contained in this movie mess.

A teen with only a learner’s permit backs his car into a pole that props up a fast food chain’s large metal chicken. The chicken comes tumbling down onto the car, smashing in the roof, with the perched poultry leaning over the back of the car, and though not electrified to do so, it bobs up and down on the back of the vehicle as if it was, well, the star of a porn movie earning its living.

There’s a nude kid sitting on the toilet reading a comic book, while his unknowing teen sister is taking her shower and stops as she smells…well, you get the idea.

It’s Halloween, so the lead and her raunchy BBG are looking for costumes. The friend is pushing sexy outfits with the logic that you need to be sexy to get ahead. (Are you listening, little girls in the theater audience?)

This same girl, one of the so-called comic reliefs in the film, explains to the lead why she is walking strangely. Earlier that day, she put Nair on her bottom, evidently to eliminate any hair growing where she felt it shouldn’t be. She charmingly puts it, “I Naired my butt.”

Then there’s all the sexual innuendo that includes the implying of a 16-year-old girl staying all night with a boy, the two waking up in each other’s arms the following morning as if they’d partied so hardy they can’t remember how they got into this situation. This same girl makes a deal with another geeky boy (there’s lots of geeky boys in this movie) that if he will let her out of his car, she’ll let him hold her breasts for 20 seconds. This film makes sure you and all the little girls in the audience see the geek’s fantasy fulfilled. And there’s another geeky male who runs down the street naked in order to get the cops to pursue him rather than the female lead. Though he’s nude, his bottom is blurred by an optical effect. Well, that makes it much better.

And lastly – okay, not lastly, I’m just sparring you some obnoxiousness – there’s the coarse language. If the cursing is inappropriate for preteens and below, what makes it suitable for older kids – or adults, for that matter. Will Hollywood actors and characters never tire of using the s-word? And the constant “Oh my gods” become irreverent considering it’s the only reference to the Creator. And in a time when moviemakers and their starlets rightfully demand respect for each and every demographic out there, why does the misuse of Christ’s name not register with the politically correct? And in one scene, a little kid calls an older teen girl a bitch. Again, remember, the screening audience was full of little girls. Yeah, I know, they’re going to hear that word. But is that an argument for the allowing of such language in a kid/teen comedy?

None of this seemed to irritate the parents in attendance, at least not enough to cause anyone to take their children out of the theater. Despite the fact that I sensed a lot of jaw-dropping, no one left the theater. No one ever leaves a theater anymore. There’s simply no outrage left in parents.

Now, if there is perhaps one reader out there still looking for a review of the film’s quality, well, there is none. It’s, unfunny, uncouth, and unsuitable.

PG-13 (several crude sexual remarks and language unsuitable for little ones – or any one; five or six obscenities, several minor expletives and the b-word is used twice; one misuse of Christ’s name; slapstick shenanigans, but the violent acts are cartoonish in nature; it is implied that a high school couple, after partying all night, sleep together; we see the girl leaving in the morning, it’s pretty clear what happened; one character has a lesbian couple for mothers – his two moms; several sexual comments; a sexually frustrated teen fondles a girls’ breasts; we see a naked man running down the street, his backside is blurred; teens drink at a party; other offensive dialogue and visuals). Running Time: In dog years – a lifetime. Intended Audience: I’m guessing Zombies.

Besides providing a monthly column for Baptist Press, he reviews films for www.previewonline.org. He also is a regular contributor to "The World and Everything In it," a weekly radio program from WORLD News Group, which also publishes WORLD Magazine.

For information about Phil Boatwright, go to moviereporter.com.

DEFINITIONS

Profanity – God’s name followed by a curse or the abusive use of Christ’s name

Obscenity – a swear word, indecent language

Expletive – minor curse words such as damn or hell

Crudity – vulgar, often coarse situations or dialogue dealing with bodily functions

Adult Subject Matter – situations or subjects unsuitable for or difficult to comprehend by children